By Priscilla Akhaze
The ambience of the University was a sight to behold and the serenity of the environment was one Folake could not hold back. She shouted with joy at her mum when she walked through the gates of the University of Lagos excited at the opportunity to finally leave home. But her mum kept quiet and flashbacks of her short days as a “Jambite” at the University of Ibadan raced through her mind. The look in her eyes staring at her young excited daughter spoke a thousand words but the fear of leaving her sixteen-year-old who had never left home in the hands of the university walls was unimaginable.
She recalled her University days, 17 years ago when she walked into the arms of Deji, a 400level student and the unending romance that started. She was head over heels with him and her world centred around him, nothing else mattered, so she thought! No sooner did her love relationship with Deji moved to the next phase than they became sexually active. She had no idea what she was into but the love in the eyes of Deji was all that mattered.
It was not long when she missed her period although it took a while for her to realise that, as her naivety took the best of her. She was quick to tell him when this happened, and the real demon appeared!!! Deji would not have it. He told her she was sent to ruin his academic pursuit and he would have no part in it. She had read playlets that spoke to these things while in secondary school but had always felt they were fiction until Deji told her he would have nothing to do with her again or the pregnancy. She froze in shock!!! The warm arms of Deji she once knew as “heaven” pushed her out of his room and reality set in. Not knowing what to do, she had to go back home.
The journey back to Akure was the longest the short commute had ever been and the wobbling of her feet as she trekked the dusty road on her street home flooded her mind with shivers. The image of that night when she had to break the news to her parent that she was pregnant as a 100level Architecture major rushed through her mind and the tears that steamed down her mother’s eyes as she stared at her was still unforgettable. Her father’s silence as he shook his feet and head at the thought of a dead dream of being the father of the first female architect in their community was one she would never forget. That was the day her music stopped.
The jerking from her excited daughter (who was the product of that dead dream) brought her back from her deep thoughts and at that point she decided she would not let her daughter walk into school without talking about sex. It’s all about Sex!!!
Sex is a very important discussion but it is interesting how many young adolescents today still do not know about sex. Sex is a sacred topic in most homes as most parents still find it uncomfortable to discuss with their children. What is sex, what happens when we have sex, what are the outcomes of sex, what should I do when the outcomes of sex happen, how can I protect myself from these outcomes and be prepared to face my future without fear? It all starts with that discussion about SEX.
If you are a parent, who is uncomfortable about having this discussion with your child, please talk to us as we render free, private and non-judgemental counselling about sex and its outcomes to young adolescents in the language they will understand. It all starts with that discussion about SEX.